i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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