You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
