i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
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