They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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