we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
