Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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