Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
