It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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