There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
