I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize