I'm drive I can fine osifer
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize