Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he was CRYING into my vagina
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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