he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
