so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i will never coherently bang her
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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