i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
