note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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