a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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