just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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