I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
