I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
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He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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