someone threw a dead crab at me
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
