i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
