i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
