Your face is a jimmy john
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
