It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I love having hate sex.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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