I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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