when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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