So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
