This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
