It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize