the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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