Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
