First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
