Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
