id be glad to
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
