thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
