Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
