Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!