Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
