forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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