you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
