I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
