sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
