are you still at the devil's house?
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
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Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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