You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Randomize