You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
