So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
