i don't plan on having that self control this summer
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize