Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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