Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
