So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
