I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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