spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
