Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm at about main and main street
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
