No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
