I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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