My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
