The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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