Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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