Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
