the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
