She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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