Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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