id be glad to
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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