i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
