i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
